Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(856): View more from New Jersey

i think my mom watched the whole time

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(856): i think my mom watched the whole time http://tfl.nu/ceac

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(705): View more from Ontario

I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.

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(705): I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single. http://tfl.nu/i1tx

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(973): View more from New Jersey

yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day

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(973): yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day http://tfl.nu/9i5e

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(858): View more from California

Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.

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(858): Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life. http://tfl.nu/3r58

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.

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(414): You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning. http://tfl.nu/dt9p

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(914): View more from New York

i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.

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(914): i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday. http://tfl.nu/f71h

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(605): View more from South Dakota

You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.

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(605): You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home. http://tfl.nu/7njn

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.

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(603): 4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin. http://tfl.nu/zsng

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(936): View more from Texas

Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.

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(936): Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us. http://tfl.nu/b09c

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(443): View more from Maryland

We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy

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(443): We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy http://tfl.nu/feuw

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(802): View more from Vermont

shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.

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(802): shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots. http://tfl.nu/6u08

Replies (12) Good night (2021) Bad night (561)
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(415): View more from California

I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.

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(415): I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape. http://tfl.nu/bbp9

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(937): View more from Ohio

Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.

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(937): Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward. http://tfl.nu/uvqx

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides

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(724): I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides http://tfl.nu/36h7

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(860): View more from Connecticut

NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW

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(860): NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW http://tfl.nu/dzo6

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