I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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