just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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