Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize