How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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