very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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