Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  **** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha

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  (702): **** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha http://tfl.nu/p7u5
  Replies (4) Good night (690) Bad night (590) Order T-Shirt
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.

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  (636): Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning. http://tfl.nu/gyoc
  Replies (10) Good night (4369) Bad night (419) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....

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  (403): by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal.... http://tfl.nu/sunu
  Replies (26) Good night (692) Bad night (2871) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.

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  (270): guess they didn't have any donuts in her size. http://tfl.nu/0a1u
  Replies (17) Good night (527) Bad night (3059) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.

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  (301): The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me. http://tfl.nu/hdf0
  Replies (56) Good night (563) Bad night (5541) Order T-Shirt
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was

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  (928): im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was http://tfl.nu/g5u7
  Replies (4) Good night (2202) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now

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  (313): Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now http://tfl.nu/t7qb
  Replies (19) Good night (946) Bad night (4412)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Im 95% ready to shit behind 711

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  (360): Im 95% ready to shit behind 711 http://tfl.nu/2mf3
  Replies (4) Good night (1072) Bad night (1989) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.

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  (505): There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city. http://tfl.nu/w5w1
  Replies (8) Good night (2124) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly

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  (203): You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly http://tfl.nu/snl2
  Replies (7) Good night (2434) Bad night (711) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.

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  (817): Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car. http://tfl.nu/zuv0
  Replies (13) Good night (2375) Bad night (479) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?

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  (918): What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else? http://tfl.nu/xvvc
  Replies (5) Good night (858) Bad night (379) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar

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  (765): Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar http://tfl.nu/ejig
  Replies (6) Good night (760) Bad night (889) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know

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  (801): Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know http://tfl.nu/1og0
  Replies (2) Good night (607) Bad night (380) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.

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  (901): You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM. http://tfl.nu/iytk
  Replies (1) Good night (556) Bad night (392)

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