Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
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This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
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I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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