I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize