I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize