"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
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