you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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