One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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