she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
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This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
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Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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