So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize