He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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