she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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