i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
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You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
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He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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