Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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