let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
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I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
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My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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