so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize