Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize