That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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