and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize