Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize