nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
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He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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