im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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