Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
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There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
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I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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