I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I have feelings that need drinking.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize