I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
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yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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