I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
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My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
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i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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