Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Let's paint friendship bongs
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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