hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize