I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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