My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize