just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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