i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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