when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize