If that was your dad, he is hot
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
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