The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize