Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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