ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize