we have pet lesbian snakes
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize