I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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