no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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