Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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