I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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