WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize