he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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