Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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